Making the Funeral About the one who Died

Posted on June 12, 2020 by Chris Messina under Funeral service
Leave a comment

A “personalized” funeral is not just for the rich and famous. When someone we love dies, we want to remember that person. We want to celebrate the life that was lived. A life story does not have to have a dramatic plot twist or culminate in fame and riches to be worthy of remembrance.

So, how does one go about putting together a life celebration?

Pictures are a great place to begin. Look for pictures that span their lifetime, show their personality, celebrate their relationships and friends, put them in the context of their work, hobbies, or passions. Most funeral homes now have equipment to create a video that can be shown in a loop on a television or larger screen.    It is also relatively inexpensive to get photographs of those milestone moments made large. Ask your funeral director how these can be displayed at the funeral. They can also direct you to local retailers who will be able to assist photographs.

Consider integrating pictures with the eulogy. For example, the eulogist might share stories about the childhood years of the person who died while childhood pictures are shown in the background. Don’t be shy about asking the funeral director for what you envision. Maybe you would like two different video tributes. One might showcase family life and one sports, hobbies or special interests. Just ask, funeral directors want the service to be meaningful for the family and friends. They are there to help you honor your loved one.

Music can also be a great background and can be integrated into the service. Nearly every family has someone who can put together a play list. Choose musical favorites of the deceased.  There are also many songs that relate to death or loss in every musical genre from country to classical. Be sure to check with your funeral director to make sure the format for the music you would like to use is compatible with the funeral home’s equipment.

There really is no end to the ways you can express the personality and interests of the person you loved and lost. Talk about your ideas with the key people in your family before you attend the arrangement conference with your funeral director. Then just ask away. Can we bring the dog? Can we bring in some of Mom’s artwork? Can we give everyone a golf ball? Just ask you might be surprised to find your funeral director has some helpful ideas for a fitting farewell.

 

Elements of a Great Obituary

By West Cobb Admin • February 11, 2025
Some obituaries are simply informative. They let the neighborhood know when someone in their community has passed, inform them about when and where the funeral will be held, and detail the decedent’s family who will be grieving their loved one. These are the most basic versions of an obituary. And while there’s nothing wrong with writing one that’s on the plainer side, there’s a reason why these aren’t the obituaries that go viral.

Jack be Nimble & Quick … Get Your Affairs in Order!

By West Cobb Admin • November 22, 2024
One thing we have come to realize this year is the value of being nimble, agile or light footed. Our world has been turned inside out. We have all come to expect the unexpected and to realize that little is certain. Getting a handle on life in 2020 has been a little like nailing Jell-O! Being flexible and prepared has become more important than ever before.

Am I Too Young to Plan My Funeral?

By West Cobb Admin • November 22, 2024
If you are thinking about planning your funeral it is a good sign you are not too young. Although most people tackle this task when they are preparing to retire or after the children have left home, many plan sooner. In reality, most plan because they want to or need to. Age is not the determining factor. Whatever the reason you are thinking about planning your funeral, trust yourself. It is a good enough reason. Don’t worry that you are not “old” enough.

Do I Have to Have a Burial Vault?

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
While you might be looking at burial vaults, liners, or urn vaults as simply added expenses, there’s a reason why cemeteries require you to use them. Burial vaults and liners keep a graveyard level, both for safety and to preserve the beauty of the cemetery ground. When your loved ones come to visit, they’ll be seeing a stable gravesite, safeguarded for years to come.

How To Prepare for a Funeral? Contacting Loved Ones

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
The death of a loved one is often the most challenging thing one will face in one’s life. It’s overwhelming, disheartening, and saddening for you personally, but also for those around you. As you prepare for the funeral, you’ll need to start contacting loved ones. How do you determine who to tell first and how?

What is a Burial Vault?

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
When you think about the process of burying someone who has passed on, you’re likely familiar with a few terms. You probably know what a casket is for, what it’s made out of, and where it goes. You might understand a bit about the embalming process and how a body is prepared to be laid to rest. But do you know what a burial vault is? It’s a term that many people are unaware of, but it provides support for the deceased and is becoming more and more common, especially in certain areas.

Where Can I Scatter the Remains of a Loved One?

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
It’s better to scatter your loved one’s remains either on private property that you own or on public land. When it comes to your property, what you do with it is your business. With public land and waterways, local authorities will be able to answer any questions you have to be sure that you are scattering your loved one’s ashes in an ethical, environmentally conscious way. Give your loved one a goodbye in a beautiful location, knowing that you’re not doing harm.

What is Prolonged Grief?

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
Grief is a normal part of life. After losing a loved one, most people will experience grief in some form. That feeling can go on for a while, but as the adage goes, “Time heals all wounds.” As anyone who has ever lost someone very close to them will tell you, time may help, but it doesn’t fully heal. Years after that person’s death, you’ll still think of them, still wish they were around, but you’ll have moved on with your life. The wound will still hurt from time to time, but the feeling of grief will no longer be all-encompassing.

Is It Bad Luck to Plan Your Funeral in Advance?

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
Definitely not. In fact, if one were to ask the children and family members of those who planned their funeral in advance how they felt about their family member’s foresight they would no doubt tell you they felt very lucky indeed.

It’s a Funeral … Go Ahead and CRY

By West Cobb Admin • August 7, 2024
People may try to suppress tears if they see them as a sign of weakness, but science suggests that doing so could mean missing out on a range of benefits. There is still much to learn about the science of tears, but newer research indicates:
More Posts
Share by: